The challenge is on!

I am signed up in a challenge at the gym. Whoever shows the most progress in eight weeks wins 52 free sessions with their personal trainer. Wow. That's pretty awesome. Part of the challenge entails writing about your experience and how it's changing your life. I am so up for that. Nicki, my trainer, made me feel really good today. She said I was one of her best clients. Wow. That's a big thing to live up to. I am doing my best. I suppose I can't ask more of myself, right? I made the right decision when I decided on World Health Club. I found the perfect person to help me on this long road. I feel like we're in this together. She understands where I'm coming from and that helps so much. These guys should open branches all over the country. They would kick other clubs' asses. Seriously. I just finished another workout and it went well. I'm not feeling all that well today. I didn't sleep well and I look like death warmed over. But I feel better after working out. I always do. I am eating a chicken couscous salad from Moo's and it's yummy. I also have a big glass of water with mandarin mango green tea in it. What a great lunch! It is turning out to be a pretty good day :)

Does anybody, aside from family, read this stuff? How do people promote their blogs? Ugh. The world of technology is insane. I think it causes much unwanted angst at times. Oh, for the simpler life. I wonder where all this stuff will be in 50 years. I would never have dreamed of such stuff even when I was in high school. Wow. That's incredible when you think about it...Let me digress...sometimes it's really hard working at a place where they create yummy food. There are things I can eat sometimes, but most of the time, I just smell and look at them :( Whoa is me! For all the thousands of people who buy Company's Coming cookbooks, though, it's nice to know every recipe is tested and re-tested until it meets the company's high standards. That really reassuring when you're spending the time with these cookbooks to create something great for your family and friends. Some books are devoted to healthy eating. I will be using those to add some creativity to my meal plans. I will let you know which ones and how they are. In any case, I feel kind of blah today. When I think of my overall goal, it's seem so insurmountable. Man, do I have a lot of weight to lose. Maybe I should just focus on the smaller steps--those I must take to get there. It feels too overwhelming right now to think of anything more. I woke up this morning with cramps (when is this thing going to dry up already?). No wonder my workout was hard yesterday. I had no energy at all. I get that way around this time of the month. I also get really bad back cramps and it's hard to focus. TMI. I'll shut up LOL. It feels really difficult to pat myself on the back. I am so self-depricating. I am also hot right now but I can't take my sweater off. I tried a roll at work and I dropped sauce down my top. Figures. That's me.

More...

Well, I have lost 10 more pounds and some inches. Nicki is writing it all on the computer. I am ok with that. Every pound I lose is one less I have to worry about. Although I am really anxious to get it all off, I realize that doing it in a HEALTHY way is not the fast, nor easy way. I am not using pills, shots, fad diets, gimmicks or anything else that promises fast results. I am eating in a healthy way and exercising. It's the only thing that really works in the long run. There is no easy way out of obesity. Been there, done that. We only end up gaining it all back again and then some. I am visiting Ontario next month and for once, I am NOT worried that I will eat the wrong things. I am sticking to my healthy eating no matter where I go. My only indulgence every once in a while is Starbucks. It's my reward :) I think I am learning to be more gentle with myself. It's the only way I can stay focused on this long-term goal; that and setting smallish goals along the way. Rewards are important, too, especially non-food rewards like getting my hair cut or buying a book or having a manicure. It's important to treat myself well on the journey; to value myself as I am right now, even there are other people who question my value and my worth in whatever manner. No matter what happens to me, I will always try to maintain that attiude. I am valuable. I have much to offer and in many ways.

Blah Monday

I guess I am not alone when I say I really don't like Mondays. (Remember that song?). I am not a morning person and I have to attend an 8 a.m. meeting on Mondays. UGH. Today is weigh day and so I haven't had anything to eat or drink yet and I am grumpy. I have so much to do at work and another meeting scheduled from 1:30 to 4. I feel so drained after those. I must be sure to bring a snack in with me so my blood sugar levels won't drop. I didn't count on all this stress. I am glad for the gym. I work really, really hard at it and while I am doing it, it hurts like hell, but once I've finished, I feel terrific. Those endorphins have kicked in and I feel like I've really accomplishe something. I have a feeling my whole life will change once I've reached my goal weight. It's just maintaining my focus. I am impatient. I wish this could be finished tomorrow. I sometimes feel really pissed that I have to work so hard at it. But life isn't fair, is it? Oh well, it will only make my success taste even more sweet.

I really love this city. It's clean, people are friendly (well, most of them), shopping is great, choices are incredible. I just love it here. I believe the river of life sometimes takes a winding course to one's goal. I certainly am not afraid of change. For those of you who know me personally, you can attest to that. As for the gym--things are going great. I couldn't be happier with my progress. Once I am down to my goal weight, which is 135 pounds, btw, I am going to write a book so other people in similar circumstances, can follow my example. There is nothing out there like that now. It'll be filled with tips, affirmations and my journaling. Maybe you'll see me on Oprah! I know I can do this with all your support. If you've stumbled here by accident, please stay with me. I will post photos soon. Ta-ra!

Crap

I feel so tired. I actually had trouble getting through my workout yesterday. I am under a lot of stress...which I do not need. Normally, I would have handled it by eating, but I am trying not to do that anymore. I think I just need to go to the gym and pound the shit out of the punching bag that's swinging in the large room with shiny hardwood floors and glass doors. Nicki, my trainer agrees that maybe I should see my doc and get blood work done. I think that may be a good idea. I absolutely love working out at World Health Club. If you live in Edmonton, visit them and they will help you become healthy and they're so supportive and friendly. Makes my workouts so much better. I am also seeing a counsellor to deal with why I gained this weight in the first place. I realize I cannot simply address the weight itself or it will never stay off. It's a difficult process, but absolutely necessary. It's Saturday and Tony and I need to do some shopping. We will take Ty and let him run in the park. I love watching him play. He is the most incredible dog and my bestest friend :)

Hi

I am on a weight loss mission. I have struggled with my weight and body image ever since I can remember. I have decided, once and for all, that I am done being fat. I started working with a personal trainer on July 25. I lost 17 pounds in one month. Not too bad, I guess. I hope you'll follow along to see how I'm doing. I appreciate all the support I can get. Stay tuned for more...